Gontuncar is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, emotional penguin.

Gontuncar created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gontuncar, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gontuncar, she will not care.

Gontuncar's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Gontuncar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics.

2. Never gather six eagles near wells.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gontuncar.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.