Teenfodort is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-knowing seal.

Teenfodort created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenfodort, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Teenfodort, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Teenfodort's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Teenfodort's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention manatees.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always help hamsters in need.

5. Never go into blue rooms.