Cemarnhoggup is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, quiet ferret.

Cemarnhoggup created the Sun four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemarnhoggup, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cemarnhoggup, she will boil you in a big pot.

Cemarnhoggup's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Cemarnhoggup's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never allow voles to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not fashion tools from copper.

5. Never adorn your face with violet markings.