Midpangbast is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, proud jackal.

Midpangbast created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Midpangbast, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Midpangbast, it will have a low opinion of you.

Midpangbast's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Midpangbast's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Erect five platinum sculptures of Midpangbast on top of important buildings.

3. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

4. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

5. Always store strawberries above ground.