Kikcaddutflag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, stupid finch.

Kikcaddutflag created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikcaddutflag, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kikcaddutflag, he will turn you into a snail.

Kikcaddutflag's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Kikcaddutflag's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Always count to seven before sleeping.

3. Always treat moths with great respect.

4. Never think ill of sick bats.

5. Always look after injured monkeys.