Hatdonjad is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, thoughtless jellyfish.

Hatdonjad created the Milkyway four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatdonjad, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hatdonjad, he will throw large rocks at you.

Hatdonjad's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Hatdonjad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.

4. Do not place lentils upon stone.

5. Do not sprint at rivers.