Fonyimflam is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, vain lizard.

Fonyimflam created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonyimflam, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fonyimflam, it will cry a lot.

Fonyimflam's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Fonyimflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never allow swans to witness sacred rites.

3. Do not study the inheritance of acquired characteristics on holy days.

4. Do not hurt birds.

5. Do not contemplate quantum field theory during the night.