Gandamfed is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, cheerful fish.

Gandamfed created parasitic wasps three million years ago.

If you believe in Gandamfed, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gandamfed, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gandamfed's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Gandamfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon cyan earth.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Gandamfed in the centre of the settlement.