Zimflagrul is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, two-faced rhinoceros.

Zimflagrul created the planet Saturn nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimflagrul, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zimflagrul, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Zimflagrul's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Zimflagrul's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Zimflagrul must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never hurt sheep.

4. Never prepare tomatoes during winter.

5. Never eat melons on fasting days.