Gumviglop is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, witless spider.

Gumviglop created silver seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gumviglop, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gumviglop, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gumviglop's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Gumviglop's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the north during spring.

2. Never touch ash while clean.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.

5. Never point your arms toward the west during prayer.