Vighonjig is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, two-faced wolf.

Vighonjig created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vighonjig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vighonjig, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Vighonjig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Vighonjig's Holy Commandments

1. Remain prostrate during prayer.

2. Never allow tortoises to witness sacred rites.

3. Always treat great tits with great respect.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Never speak at dusk.