Staflimloging is a god.

It takes the form of a small, compassionate tapir.

Staflimloging created the Black Eye Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Staflimloging, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Staflimloging, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Staflimloging's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Staflimloging's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never think about dark matter near otters while wearing red dresses and balancing five copper spheres on your chest.

5. Never adorn your back with cyan markings.