Kinnigmumtof is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ill-tempered dolphin.

Kinnigmumtof created water eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kinnigmumtof, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kinnigmumtof, she will make you grow a tail.

Kinnigmumtof's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Kinnigmumtof's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix tomatoes with ash.

2. Never sit in holy places.

3. Never discuss eukaryotes in public assemblies.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Feed all hungry dolphins.