Kikquillmip is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, smart hedgehog.

Kikquillmip created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikquillmip, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kikquillmip, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Kikquillmip's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Kikquillmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair yellow.

2. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

3. Never feed lots of beans to eagles while wearing violet boots.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.