Pigvonkbapfeb is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, sage meerkat.

Pigvonkbapfeb created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Pigvonkbapfeb, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pigvonkbapfeb, it will turn you into a worm.

Pigvonkbapfeb's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Pigvonkbapfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Never leap in the presence of capybaras.

5. Never eat lemons.