Stiphigfab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, blissful dryad.

Stiphigfab created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Stiphigfab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Stiphigfab, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Stiphigfab's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Stiphigfab's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Run away from blue aardvarks, for they are unholy.

3. Never feed coconuts to mites while wearing rings.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Erect a giant green sculpture of Stiphigfab in the centre of the settlement.