Gupbonjam is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, intelligent spider.

Gupbonjam created the universe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupbonjam, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gupbonjam, it will manifest in front of you.

Gupbonjam's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gupbonjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump at crossroads.

2. Remain kneeling during prayer.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

4. Do not gather at wells at midnight.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.