Fagbafbop is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, blissful horse.

Fagbafbop created Asia nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fagbafbop, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fagbafbop, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fagbafbop's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Fagbafbop's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

5. Never gather seven voles near towers.