Pinbimmad Bepkikxingid is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, stupid octopus.

Pinbimmad Bepkikxingid created Africa seven million years ago.

If you believe in Pinbimmad Bepkikxingid, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pinbimmad Bepkikxingid, it will turn you into a slug.

Pinbimmad Bepkikxingid's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Pinbimmad Bepkikxingid's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not record names concerning comets.

3. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

4. Never prepare limes during winter.

5. Feed all hungry seals.