Fascebarp is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, humane bear.

Fascebarp created matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fascebarp, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fascebarp, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Fascebarp's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fascebarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain rings during rituals.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always treat birds with great respect.

5. Never mark doors with cyan.