Nurlapomt is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, caring bird.

Nurlapomt created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlapomt, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nurlapomt, it will turn you into a plant.

Nurlapomt's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Nurlapomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near foxes while wearing black trousers and balancing six lead spheres on your neck.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.