Mad is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, calm jaguar.

Mad created the planet Jupiter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mad, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mad, he will turn you into a plant.

Mad's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Mad's Holy Commandments

1. Snails are not to be trusted.

2. Always remove jumpers before entering holy places.

3. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.