Dagnakquagkimyarplog is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, passionate scorpion.

Dagnakquagkimyarplog created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dagnakquagkimyarplog, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Dagnakquagkimyarplog, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Dagnakquagkimyarplog's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Dagnakquagkimyarplog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum mechanics.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Hide from black turtles for they are unholy.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never hurt gulls.