Tailgarfun is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, deceitful mongoose.

Tailgarfun created a bottom quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tailgarfun, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tailgarfun, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tailgarfun's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tailgarfun's Holy Commandments

1. Tailgarfun loves great tits, so they must be respected.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. You must pray to Tailgarfun six times a day.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not consume onions at dawn.