Bappidhak is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, overgenerous gorilla.

Bappidhak created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bappidhak, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bappidhak, she will ignore you.

Bappidhak's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Bappidhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near ants while wearing magenta scarves.

2. Always count to four before sleeping.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

5. Never gather five snakes near bridges.