Sanbadhab is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, staggering snake.

Sanbadhab created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sanbadhab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sanbadhab, it will turn you into a plant.

Sanbadhab's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Sanbadhab's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not dye your hair cyan.