Safdussmiphun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, merciless eagle.

Safdussmiphun created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safdussmiphun, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Safdussmiphun, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Safdussmiphun's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Safdussmiphun's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near geese while wearing magenta shoes and balancing four zinc spheres on your head.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Safdussmiphun in the centre of the settlement.

5. Erect nine silver sculptures of Safdussmiphun on top of important buildings.