Sisjonbell is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, amazing rhinoceros.

Sisjonbell created a photon two years ago.

If you believe in Sisjonbell, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sisjonbell, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sisjonbell's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Sisjonbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather four mites near walls.

2. Never chant near snails.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not cook food in pots.