Renquamfas Arpkanflabsin Vonksafhak is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, generous horse.

Renquamfas Arpkanflabsin Vonksafhak created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Renquamfas Arpkanflabsin Vonksafhak, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Renquamfas Arpkanflabsin Vonksafhak, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Renquamfas Arpkanflabsin Vonksafhak's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Renquamfas Arpkanflabsin Vonksafhak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six shrews in a large pit.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not wear dresses marked with mauve.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.