Belltettiflan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, wise hedgehog.

Belltettiflan created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Belltettiflan, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Belltettiflan, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Belltettiflan's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Belltettiflan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Belltettiflan.

3. Do not hurt nematodes.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never sing in holy places.