Mumnabxucbarngofxen is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, witty scorpion.

Mumnabxucbarngofxen created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumnabxucbarngofxen, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mumnabxucbarngofxen, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Mumnabxucbarngofxen's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Mumnabxucbarngofxen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

2. Never bounce near dolphins.

3. Do not consume cucumbers at dawn.

4. Never pray while filled with fear.

5. Always wear turquoise.