Teenminapp is a god.

She takes the form of a small, selfish owl.

Teenminapp created humanity two years ago.

If you believe in Teenminapp, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Teenminapp, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Teenminapp's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Teenminapp's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

2. Never touch oil while clean.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

5. Do not prepare onions while filled with fear.