Midbafyim Fignadtarp is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, dishonest snake.

Midbafyim Fignadtarp created the world nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midbafyim Fignadtarp, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Midbafyim Fignadtarp, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Midbafyim Fignadtarp's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Midbafyim Fignadtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Midbafyim Fignadtarp.

2. Always obey Midbafyim Fignadtarp's priests.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near whales while wearing mauve boots.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always remove shirts before touching iron.