Kompitdut is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, conceited turtle.

Kompitdut created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kompitdut, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kompitdut, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kompitdut's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Kompitdut's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always look after injured mice.

3. Hide from purple ducks for they are unholy.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never think about moons.