Gemflamlib is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, vain dolphin.

Gemflamlib created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemflamlib, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gemflamlib, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gemflamlib's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Gemflamlib's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near swans while wearing cyan dresses and balancing five zinc spheres on your hands.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. Run away if seven gulls approach from the north.