Somfitcid is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, confident finch.

Somfitcid created a photon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somfitcid, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Somfitcid, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Somfitcid's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Somfitcid's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Somfitcid in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never pray while filled with envy.

5. Do not speak about beans.