Gubjadkad is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, stupid elephant.

Gubjadkad created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubjadkad, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gubjadkad, he will be very unhappy.

Gubjadkad's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Gubjadkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather nine whales near walls.

2. Never remain kneeling at dawn.

3. Always count to four before sleeping.

4. Never allow hamsters to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Never speak of order in the presence of strangers.