Pitlagbog is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, passionate jaguar.

Pitlagbog created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitlagbog, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Pitlagbog, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Pitlagbog's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Pitlagbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never hurt porpoises.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.