Naddissmif is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, astonishing faun.

Naddissmif created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Naddissmif, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Naddissmif, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Naddissmif's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Naddissmif's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not study archaea on holy days.

3. Always remove ear rings before entering holy places.

4. Never prepare rice during winter.

5. Never point your head toward the east during prayer.