Xuckcetfom is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, quiet manatee.

Xuckcetfom created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Xuckcetfom, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Xuckcetfom, it will be very sad.

Xuckcetfom's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Xuckcetfom's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Never chant in autumn.

3. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always treat ants with great respect.

5. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.