Gabwotfar is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, merciful narwhal.

Gabwotfar created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabwotfar, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gabwotfar, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Gabwotfar's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Gabwotfar's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never stain your neck with pink.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

4. Do not prepare strawberries while filled with fear.

5. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.