Banlaktit is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, narcissistic beaver.

Banlaktit created the planet Venus six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Banlaktit, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Banlaktit, he will jump up and down on your head.

Banlaktit's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Banlaktit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare spinach while filled with pride.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not step barefoot upon indigo earth.

5. Do not cook food in pots.