Fitpanjap is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unselfish wolf.

Fitpanjap created the Virgo Supercluster four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitpanjap, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fitpanjap, he will boil you in a big pot.

Fitpanjap's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Fitpanjap's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.