Bassladgov is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, benevolent raccoon.

Bassladgov created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassladgov, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bassladgov, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bassladgov's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bassladgov's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in darkness.

2. Do not consume figs at dawn.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always look after injured sharks.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.