Ditrigkab is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unselfish hamster.

Ditrigkab created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Ditrigkab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditrigkab, he will ignore you.

Ditrigkab's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Ditrigkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Ditrigkab in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never allow whales to witness sacred rites.

4. Never talk about optics near seals while wearing turquoise trousers.

5. Never jump in the presence of badgers.