Yattzedlun is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, temperamental tortoise.

Yattzedlun created light two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattzedlun, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yattzedlun, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Yattzedlun's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Yattzedlun's Holy Commandments

1. Remain kneeling during prayer.

2. Never carve symbols of black holes into wood.

3. Do not study chlorophyll on holy days.

4. Do not prepare parsnips while wearing corsets.

5. Do not wear pink clothing.