Barnzagfom is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, moody manatee.

Barnzagfom created the Cigar Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnzagfom, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Barnzagfom, it will torture you forever.

Barnzagfom's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Barnzagfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never wear yellow shirts.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Never feed bananas to frogs while wearing hats.