Veensanbap is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, calm mink.

Veensanbap created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veensanbap, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Veensanbap, he will turn you into a frog.

Veensanbap's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Veensanbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to ducks while wearing blue coats.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never mention sharks.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Never speak of order in the presence of children.