Gebfungad is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humorless dugong.

Gebfungad created the planet Jupiter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gebfungad, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gebfungad, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gebfungad's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Gebfungad's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of manatees.

2. Erect seven silicon sculptures of Gebfungad on top of important buildings.

3. Never prepare apples during summer.

4. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gebfungad.