Quatrowfag is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, loving hippopotamus.

Quatrowfag created a quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatrowfag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quatrowfag, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Quatrowfag's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Quatrowfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never speak at midday.

4. Never wear blue tights.

5. Erect seven tin sculptures of Quatrowfag on top of important buildings.