Tailmonzig Govjinlop is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unselfish warg.

Tailmonzig Govjinlop created dark energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tailmonzig Govjinlop, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tailmonzig Govjinlop, she will be very sad.

Tailmonzig Govjinlop's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Tailmonzig Govjinlop's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark matter.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Do not step barefoot upon white earth.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Always treat otters with great respect.